Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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