I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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