I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
