trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
