Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
