wat bout pragnant strippers??
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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