It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
