So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
