we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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