either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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