I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize