wanna go halves on a baby?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
