is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
