paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I pour the whiskey from now on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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