i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I love you. Go after that dick
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