I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
