My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
