She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize