you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
