I faked an abortion last night.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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