suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
