does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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