I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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