i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
