woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
