sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
