I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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