i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
this beer tastes like vomit already
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You pole danced in your parka.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize
