Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
