Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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