I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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