If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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