Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
