Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
