My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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