Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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