I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
