It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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