if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
