they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize