so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
