You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
