Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize