How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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