yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
COCAINE IS GR8
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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