A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
