Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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