You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
