I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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