So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
