WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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