the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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