Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I have feelings that need drinking.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
