you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
