I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
