he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
