I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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