oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
