I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
