There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
