On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
