I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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