yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
