Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I need to align my fucking chakras
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
