so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
