Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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